Last 'Ouch'!

Just heard the news.

Ketika kamu sudah bahagia, saya masih compang camping dengan penyesalan yang sama dan rasa yang sama.

Ketika setengah agama sudah kamu dapatkan, saya masih belum bisa memaafkan dan merima segalanya.

Mungkin ini caranya untuk menyudahi perjalanan tak berguna ini.

Seandainya kamu tau, saya menyesal atas segalanya.

And please, fight for your own happiness...

Nothing Change

Today, I miss you. I miss us.

I'm sorry for making you hate me this much.

Someday, would you forgive me?

Self Question

Me: "Can I"

Myself: "I don't believe I can"

Make it all easier please.

I can't hate you the way you hate me.

If you hate me forever, how can't you just asnwer anything everytime I said "Kendy, I'm really really really sorry for making you really really really really hate me"

And yes, It's all still there.

Happy Painlyversary

If you asked me "how?"

I had still the same.

Still whispering "I'm really sorry for everything"

And I got nothing but silence.

Kendy, I'm really sorry for everything...

Is That a Blue in Your Sky?

Do you remember what happened on this day last year?

When you nicely asked me "Mau coba jalanin atau gak?"

When you said "love you" for the first time.

When the sky was so blue.

And there's still you.

and now,

a year later,

I'm crying because of your silence.

Don't know what to do.

Clueless.

Stupid.

Silly me, you might say.

Everything seems so fine in your life.

but not in mine.

Am I so unforgiven?

Hope

Setahun sudah sejak madu itu masuk dan menyebar di hati.
Today is my birthday. Ketika harapan itu semua semakin memudar. Mungkin memang tiada 'mukzizat'. Mimpi buruk tetap menjadi mimpi buruk. Tanda tanya tetap tak akan terjawab. Kamu mungkin sudah sangat bahagia. "Having your forgiveness" is the only one I want on my day. Mungkin? Ketika akhirnya ada damai di hati kita? Atau memang aku selamanya tak pernah ada di hidup kamu?

Kendy, I'm really really really sorry for making you really really really hate me.

Ingin pedih ini tak pernah lagi terasa.

Setahun sudah.

Saatnya aku bahagia?

Dan airmata ternyata tetap menetes.

Kendy, maafin aku.

s.o.s

you hate me,

i love you

you care less about me,

i still miss any single things from you

you're an asshole,

i'm an absolutely morron...

dear kendy,

help me...

if you read this...

i need your help...

i need any help..

please God,

help me...

help me...